Where to start

Shit dude where do i start
my internet was down and i couldnt blog so i have helluh shit to say
but i dont know where to start.
Well the main topic that i always blog about is life duh

where to start where to start
life is just a mess thus im a mess im trying to handle
Mom's pregnant and she's not even married to todd and she wants me to call him dad and crap and im like whatever at this point. I already know everything that happens to me well most things i put upon myself which is stupid of me but all i can do is learn from my mistakes.Theres so much i dont know where to start. So i was really pissed off about my mom being pregnant cause for one i had to find it out from my aunt and that just flipped me out, seriously you dont have the decency to tell your own damn son, my mom is dead to me she even had the nerve to vote yes on 8.
Damn i swear ugh im starting to hate everyone but im learning to appriciate the smaller things in life which is weird. Well its more of im sick and tired of alot of things well i WAS and when i took a step back and took a break it felt so good i felt so relaxed i had time to look up at the sky and stare at the clouds.
Well what to start off
1.He...dedicated a song to "i can change you life" and these past days when i sit at lunch with my ipod i leave that song on repeat as the days grow by i miss you more aaronjosh and it sucks idk im just bitter honestly i say you screwed me over when really you didnt i screwed myself over and im at the point where i miss him but never want to talk to him again, that song..he did change my life and he did make me happy but key words did. Anyways i miss him to death and when i think back what if i did give him a second change and let him dump his gf..oh well its over what use to be a grasp away is just miles and miles away
2.You know..it hurts when you like a guy but he does something else with another guy honestly whoever said you stopped liking him, yea..just because you refuse to go out with him and give him a change for what happened doesnt mean you didnt stop caring...i didnt stop caring. You said to me that you wanted to be close friends after i tried, you even admit to making things akward and i dont really want to try anymore not with you i tried to be friends and everything but i just dont care anymore, i dont care about anything anymore. As long as he's happy with his new man andrew or whatever im fine but i dont know its another situation where i want it but things are holding me back
3.I really honestly cannot put up with you we hung out one day and im sorry if i cant handle long distant relationships i really did care for you as a person but you were never considerate of how i felt when you asked me a question and i said my answer it was never what you wanted to hear and it sucks cause the last words you said to me were "its ok dont call me" and its like wtf im sorry if i dont want to get with you and my answers to your questons werent good enough but fuck dude you want to sink to that level where you like dont talk to me
4.gah i havnt talked to you in forever but still luke luke luke its sucks like you say you like me but i cant keep up with you anymore im going to let daven have you because thats the right thing to do.
5.Damn :( daniel gosh i dont know i wish i knew what was on your mind or i could hang out with you like that one time in the morning your just so awesome but sometimes i think you hate me and sometimes well idk o_o on and off feelings to
GUYS FUCKING SUCK
but im no mother fucking walk in the park either i suppose


Anyways what elsse has recently happen

Some mexicans guy told this guy i know to beat my ass cause i was bi and im like wtf i was pissed but whatever they are like that because of their own insecurities
Recently David Vasser a really good friend visited me at wilcox and wow man that day me david and jeremy was fun like me and kalin have this big understanding now.
David was cool we talked :D and yea
he told me about this whole thing about luke and daven and a whole bunch of things i have a feeling that daven hates me haha because luke liked me but w/e im lettng him have luke, cause i NEED A BREAK and well idk.
I just dont want to be screwed over and for that to happen i need to stop things im doing. Im like backtracking and im just a big ass whore i move on and never take the chance to consider other people's feelings so why do i complain when someone doesnt considers mine. oh well
Theres probaly more that im forgetting but whatever this is enough im getting back on track but really wilcox is making me ugh i just want to transfer we'll see when move back to the house on hostetter

Not having the internet for a week almost two was good i had alot of time to think and take a break from alot of crap

well til next timeee
im out