Its ok

wow i dont know anymore im literally tirrrred of this bullshit
same old game same old results

i dont even know what to say
im just so hurt right now but at the same time i cant help but smile
like im proud or something, i fucking irratating myself. Ugh i just have to face the facts that im not good enough,i feel like a piece of meat at most times

oh you're cute
oh you're hot
blach blah blah
and seriously im not
if people still insist all i have to say is, looks only get you so far, yea its get you an add on downelink but once your personality shows thats a whole different story. What i would do to have the best personality in the world well dont get me wrong i dont want to sacrifice an arm or leg but i wish it was 6th grade all over again when i asked a girl why she liked me

"your personality" nerdy innocent cute
what am i now
ugh im just a dork thats the most common thing, i ask myself should i keep to myself for now own? Idk like im thinking for now on i just need to be mature grow up and keep to myself maybe a whole new stage and step for me, it even sucks to have your color guard instructor say you're like an 8th grader part of me is like fuck you i dont care but change sucks but most of the time always for the better.

Mmm...i decided to text LC idk i had this weird feeling and turns out he does like another person and well idk you know how th story turns out, im just like ugh w/e this fucking sucks

just the other day simon told me about how the guy he liked went norcal or something and comes back with a bf and LC goes to socal i guess he ends up liking someone, at this point im like w/e...he told me he needed time to sort things out but i honestly dont know if i could wait, while i wait im know its going to hurt im asking myself is he really worth it theres other guys i could turn to, ugh i promised him that we still be friends i assured him that...no hard feelings if he chose the other guy as long as he's happy im happy no regrets
but this reminds me of a similar sitatuin with AJB but thats a different story i dont think ill ever bring up again

Through all of this
im smiling, im kinda like wtf right ha :)