On a plate

Throughout my life i learned that you should always take responsibility
its your fault and no one else's and once again i made a complete idiot of myself, i cared and loved someone who obviously will never feel the same way. Im to young to know the true definition of love yet,i hardly doubt there is one, everyone has their own definition. Whats funny is i thought i had it and as soon as i figured it out it backfired and hit me. With the 1 night oh happyness i got more attached and more attached and thats my fault, i became weak and co-dependant and i let my guard down.
Its so sad i expect better from myself

i am here to conclude a new statement you never learn from your mistakes, you only grow a tolerance which will eventually be broken.
And tonight...my tolerance my wall my shell it all broke. Maybe im being insecure by rushing into conclusion. honestly i never asked to take part in this game i never cared about the night of bliss all i wanted was a smile and to be warm, and if i knew the consquences i would have never set foot in this game. Some say you could step out anytime but it...love is a drug once and you can never leave the game.
I just wish the person you liked could honestly just go to your face and just say sorry i like someone else yea its going to hurt and yea you care about my emotions but its going to manifest into something worse if you dont.
Just so fucking stupid...
i dont know what to believe in anymore
its just a crush most likely lust but it felt so real...


Jonathan Jonathan look at yourself you turned into something you cant stand, something i cant stand to look at.
You can go on and on about how much you life sucks but it wont get you anywhere
just pick yourself up and go

Over it
thats the way to go