So

new blog haha
jonpunchskeet.tumblr.com

Bye

:( it'll be easier to let go once i say goodbye
i'll always be NaNa's
i love you, maybe to much

So much

So much for peaceful goodbyes

Halo

I found a way to let you in but i never really had a doubt,

I'm excited i get to see a close friend on sunday before he leaves to the filpines, you know i never really felt the feeling of losing someone, my friend's who lost family members i mourn with them not feeling what they've felt it, and when sometimes when it comes to my friends crying over losing their friends i just chuckle at them. Jokes on me now right? I'm finally losing someone really dear to me in my life, yea i guess 8th grade when my friends either went to SC high and Wilcox high, but this is something way different. Aaron laeving to me is the feeling one would get when they lose their family in a tragic drunk driving incident. I didn't cry when i lost my great grandma, i didnt cry when i lost alot of my friends to the high school scene, and i didnt even cry when i found out the truth of my father. Yet i cry when i think of him leaving.
I know what it feels like to lose someone, now when i see a friend cry over thier dad who died, i can cry with them,

Ha i've been told it's not goodbye it's just a "see you later"
4 years :\, For my 16th birthday all i want him to do is to stay a few extra day's so we can hang, i was hoping he wouldnt leave until like july. You see those people at the airport screaming crying, bawling over their family, haha you can see where i'm going with this.Ii would travel into the departure gate running like my life depended on it, knowning that if i didnt get it off my chest i wouldnt be happy the 4 years you were gone, i would run to you just to say.. i love you
Other than that, Life has been unmotivating, i have no motivation to do anything eat, sleep do homework, ok maybe socialize a little, but i get this weird feeling, the feeling where you wake up from sleeping, i wake up finding myself with the same music on Replay, and myself unhappy ready to have an anxiety attack, because i'm trying to find something fun to do
=_=

Saturday-santa cruz? homework?
Sunday- baby shower with aaron?

Wow

It hit me you're going to be gone in 8 days. Just counting down now

Frustration

It builds, and builds, and builds

and then...


BOOM =_=

Remember

Whenever we had the same song playing? The first time was A Milli

If i were his

So Spring break started
Saturday i stayed home all day and then emmily and clarice came over and we planned what to do on sunday, we planned a movie day, emmily and i wanted to go to church for kicks cause it was easter, and clarice wanted a picnic, so i suggested a picnic in the church, haha

sunday i woke up and we ended up planning to go to Great America, we left and ate at ihop at 1pm, we ate to much =_= so you know how bad the combination is Alot of Food + Great America. i Lost my bottom retainer which hella sucks but im getting a new one of thursday. After a few rides all 4 of us were sick so we ended up buying candy. We saw my friend lester working at GA, i was like I LOVE YOU LESTER MARRY ME. The end of of day we went to watch people karoke, there was this indian girl who was dressed up like raven symone's little "sister" on thats so raven, after that we had this mexican kid stand there the whole time all he had to do was sing, AYE I CAPTAIN for sponge bob. there was a really good filipino old woman who sang girls just want to have fun, i hella loved her. The worst part was the this old lady who sang its my birthday and ill cry if i want to, she didnt even sing her voice was so offbeat, her boobs were more on beat then her. Wear a bra lady
So we went home all sick, well after we ate at house of Genji i think all 4 of us laughed so hard we had to leave, fucking linh "im McNanny the Tranny"

Monday Michael came over hahaha it was fun watched the strangers and two other movies we didnt care about i useed his phone to call a whole bunch of random people
FUCKING JONATHAN A DIDNT PICK HIS PHONE UP I HATE YOU :( but yea kevin was funny HEY DADDY I LOVE YOU after that my mom came home and yelled at me and lectured michael about not hanging out with louis hahaha, we had some thai ice tea from bar code played mario kart and pokemon and he left

Tuesday Today, went to work at my mom's company and i got to use the internet.
i'm really pissed off cause nick im's me telling me how aaron and i told jhomel something for him to get pissed at will.


ok seriously i'm grounded and when i havve internet it's precious so you would think i would spend my time on something more important then tell jhomel about how full oh shit william is. I saw them at Vfair and jhomel had added me on dl, and all i did was ask him if he was with will. I left it at that, even thou i dont get along with william im not going to drag it on and be like OH WILLIAM THIS WILLIAM THAT seriously i hella dropped it, and it pisses me off that another individual, like moi saw through william's crap, and then he goes off and points the finger at me and aaron josh! like wtf? seriously, so pathetic that someone sees through his bullshit and he's gonna go off and try to play it off and point the finger. And the worst part is Nick goes off and tries to defend Will, and honestly he says "oh everyone has to be happy before me and what not" seriously just admit you like will still, thats another topic ill blog about some other day how people try to defend their relationship even when they know their wrong, if michael's wrong im not going to take his side, thats the straight up truth, but karen and luhan, and from what i heard ella and Jt and other people in general are just so naive =_= anyways, Nick goes off and calls me and aaron bitches and liars.
Ok aaron and i are mothafuckin proud bitches so i take it as a compliment, we cant be liars,the reason why we may be bitches is because we're honest and speak the truth and call it as it is, we'll call you a slut and be straight up. so Liars and bitches cant be used in the same sentence when it comes to us.

Aaron told me jhomel is seeing the truth so ill leave it as it is.


Sigh, whenever i talk to him he flatteres me to much, makes me smile and sometimes even blush, i just want to fucking punch him cause im bored and call him a short slut ahha. it would honestly be the best birthday gift if he just stayed for one more year and not go to the philipinnes. i've only known him for maybe half a year? shorter? longer? but it feels like 10 years idk. When i talk to him, in my head the word i can only think of is What if. What if i faught for him, what if what if.
ugh you make me feel like its my first time falling in love
I have a boyfriend, i am happy, so happy! it's this feeling i cant get rid of

sigh well ill see you in 4years T_T
Your a whore =_=

Ever

Every 15 minutes someone dies from a drunk driving accident,


Hmm is it just me? or have you ever acted ignorant on purpose to try to cover up what hurts you?

Speak

i think i need to lay off the videos games and rest my mind and read a boook


i'm ready to snap =_= ugh

Frustration

As the days pass by, my frustration grows and grows i dont know whats causing this frustration, maybe i have nothing better to do, or maybe its the fact that i miss a certain someone in my life, but i'm pretty sure its the fact that i miss certain people like louis, it just sucks my mom doesnt want me to hang out with gay people in general she blames my orientation for the people i hang out with and calls them bad influences at one point she even blamed karen, she use to love karen!, up until the point i mentioned karen was bi sexual.
Anyways next year i dont know for my classes i ended up applying for
Ap english and Ap bio
i want to do Ap Us Psychics enviromental science and french 3
but i think thats way to much so i think i might pass on psychics
anyways...
Went to trojan olympics last friday
their dances are hella good saw david michael and aaron and other familiar faces. Then that sunday i went to Vfair with julie to buy sadies outfit in the end we decided to be Ninja Turtles haha :D i cant wait but while at the mall it kinda ruined my mood not when i saw jhomel but haha julie was like, 'oh he's cute" but i saw william with him at one point i was like oh ew? i wanted to say hi but i continued to go on my shopping trip cause it would be my last in awhile
I snuck on the computer on thuesday March 31st
and i talked to aaron about prom plans he said he was going to have multiple dates so my jaw dropped a little bit because i wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves the country, you know what they say you never get over your first love eh part of me still has that feeling but its whatever it's his prom let him enjoy it, im still uneasy thou he said "it's cause..." and then responded with a "nothing" "brb" i was like hm...

This week multi cultural im doing nobody by wondergirls and 10 out of 10 by 2am or 2pm or something

Mmmm pokemon is taking up my time haha

i dont know somethings missing....i just dont know what

Unsatisfaction

Maybe i'm just bored with my life, maybe things are back to normal idk, as each day passes i feel a little more bitter than the other day =_=, i guess cause life is so boring, Wake up, Go to school, Go to swimming, Go home, Shower, eat, sleep. Eh things coming up Multicutural doing Replay, and Nobody for the korean dance and thats about it idk if i want to do japanese, I'm a sub for Fasa we're doing tinkling or something with sticks heh, and then Battle of the Tribes, mother fuckers >;D Jonathan Adona Lucille Pham and Michael Tran you guys better do it :D. For this week Korean club practice today, then on friday Clarice's musical i get to see michael :D i miss him =_=, omg downelink isnt working i bet there are so many pedophile's deying because they are deprived haha. on and the weekend i get to go to the library again for my french project >:D so yea for internet? Today and tuesday i had my Cahsee...it was interesting, im just going to say it was so easy it was hard =_= i forgot half the shit on but i feel i did fine. On tuesday Olivia visited afterschool so i chilled awhile with her Caroline and Destiny, haha olivia and i switched shirts. Her and Destiny are my ho's and Caroline is my girlfriend who takes a douche on my chest, gotta love them

Someone pinch me

Wow Fantastics was amazing, Sophomores got third place i did alot of events, jeanie and i did hella well for jump rope relay D:, but there still room for improvment
for skin the snake i skinned my knees, and for crab soccer i cut the skin of my palm =_= and at the end of the night when i went bed i couldnt move my pelvis =_= saturday i spent most of it in bed. The dance was ok i guess like our was so disorganized but at least it was a decent crowd pleaser. That day i spent it with M idk i wanted to do something romantic for the hell of it so on my shirt under my ripped up fantastics shirt i wrote "Will you be mine M.T.?" haha to bad he and his sister, my sister and emmily and clarice all 5 were late so my suprised was ruined but oh well when i wasnt doing an event i sat in the bleachers holding his hand, haha my friends crowded me and were in "aw", sometimes i wished my friends would pinch me because like every other lover i thought it ws to good to be true. With my injuries T_T and my events done i just sat next to him, i felt nasty and unattractive due to the sweating
but i leaned on him, haha he smelt like cholrine haha :D, anyways after that we chilled outside his sister my sister emmily and clarice, haha i was in his arms :DDDDD!! anyways yea just hung outside and then fucking shelton came and called me a FLAMER you whore =_= im not that gay D: anyways we said our goodbyes, i got into the car and my mom said "stop that" eh w/e she'll learn to accept it. I called michael when i got home on emmily's phone :D ahh i asked him what his sister thought about me cause haha you got to make a good impression on the important people in his life, His sister told him, and he told me i was social, and she compared me to kevin nguyen OMG OMG OMG =_= "kevin nguyen was really social and he turned out to be hella cocky" and then i was like omg =_________= so i guess she's foreshadowing
well anyways
i hope everything goes well
031309

Insomnia

anyways
this week is battle of the classes, and im just so tired haha dance and what not
im not proud of my dance, it was suppose to be sexy but girls cant move their hips so im kinda annoyed im in things like crab soccer hopefully i dont get kicked in the face again i'm in hoola hoop relay and in jump rope relay
hella excited clarice emmily sister and my mom are coming and michael
mmm idk what to type
whenever i stop blogging i hate catching up cause so much starts happening
Well let me start from recent events
the past days i would get easily frustrated and just lay in bed reading, i feel so unproductive and lonely i really miss the internet haha, today in theater class i talked to someone and they were like "oh i'm talking to someone now they like me" and i like them and suprisingly it affected me, i thought i would care less eh its my fault i let go of something good, its hard being patient it really is. Two days ago, i stayed a little later at school online and my good friend david was online, i've been hoping to talk to him so finally when i get the chance i do and i talked about what happen i just feel like a big jerk, because the day i first met M he was telling me how he forced himself to like D and it wasnt working out but when i talked to D, he said M didnt tell D that he doesnt really like him that way until later that day, the day he met me, idk if M really felt that "he forced" himself to like D or, maybe i was a big ass hole and took M away from D idk, ill never know, maybe i should be happy with what i have and not dwell, but i cant help but worry about a friend :\

anyways thats all for now

:D

Yeaaa im going to start blogging again
eh nothing insightful today thou
Eh its to cold and my fingers are going to fall off

Where?

oh where to start
Finals are Over i got B's and C's on my finals hooray
i get to stay in colorguard in my B in chemistry goes up,
For semester two less boys More school i need to focus focus focus
and Rob is going to be on my ass.

Mmm Life is easy going now, Learning how to time manage and being aware of who im allowing into my life pretty Fun.
Went to MHS the other day
i miss David and Aaron so much!, Lindy she's some fucking funny:) they were speaking ghetto while we were walking to Burritto Express, i dont want to get into full detail about how i felt that whole day, but david felt the same way i just miss aaron in that way but ya know its whatever
Kevin can think i use him he;s stupid i just ask for a ride to your damn school you can say no im not fucking forcing you
i was told Daven thought i was annoying
BECAUSE
BECAUSE
i didnt like do anything? i guess you could say
it was really stupid

Jewel and i hella talked about life and sht and then we started talked dirty to each other about sucking each others dicks and etc
haha so funny
i met her girlfriend and then Jewel introduced me to this really cute guy named Alex ahhaha :). mmm SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL

hahah
:) well what else

Fantastics is coming up and i have to start choreographing yippe for me?

Stupidity

People are stupid

but im just as stupid for having the choice of people in my life

David

Vasser makes me smile :)

Mr Nguyen

of fucking cao
doesnt matter

its so funny and pathetic
you're going to make a lie
oh my best friend DIED and then you're going to tell and other friend she moved
i called them as i see them and if you;re caught lying really wtf grow some balls and own up to it
i confronted on on aim
and all you could say was


GO DIE
YOUR FACE
i can see why you go through most the shit you have in your life
immature, im better than this.


heyitzjonathong (9:40:38 PM): wow so you're seriously just going to hate me like that, really mature for the lie you made
if you're going to lie im going to call them as i see them, and my blog is my release
heyitzjonathong (9:40:44 PM): whatever i dont need to deal with little kids
WillyCeesaydwha (9:40:58 PM): go die shit bag
heyitzjonathong (9:41:04 PM): youre going to tell me your best friend died
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:05 PM): dont talk to me
heyitzjonathong (9:41:07 PM): and you going to tell david
heyitzjonathong (9:41:08 PM): she moved
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:08 PM): SHE DID
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:13 PM): and dont believe me
heyitzjonathong (9:41:17 PM): ok
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:18 PM): dnt bother with me
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:20 PM): i hate you
heyitzjonathong (9:41:23 PM): so she MOVED AND DIED
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:23 PM): dont ever talk to me
heyitzjonathong (9:41:25 PM): your mature
heyitzjonathong (9:41:28 PM): i dont plan to
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:30 PM): your face
heyitzjonathong (9:41:33 PM): cause you're really fake
WillyCeesaydwha (9:41:35 PM): STOP
heyitzjonathong (9:41:37 PM): bye
heyitzjonathong (9:41:47 PM): if you're going to lie GROW SOME BALLS

Betrayal

ok GOOD WAY TO START 09
im just sick of immature people and immature shit

ugh Jodie Hang
i thought she was my best friend 3 years of just like closeness and then i have to admit there were times when we didnt talk that was my fault because i got caught up with other things and never had time for her and she got closer to merick. I know its immature of me to get mad because its just a myspace top friends but secretly it had meaning its like a number to you in the persons life. jodie and i were number 1 on each others for so long and then at one pooint she got a boyfriend named elvis and moved me down but she was like oh no no elvis moved you down i was like whatever and i was a good friend and was there for her when they broke up. And then we made a promise to be best friends forever always number one, and i put that girl in front of everybody else in my life and at some point i chose her over other people even if it wasnt the best desicion but i loved that girl with my heart. So today she tells me how her and merick are like talking or dating or some shit im like ok ok cool cool
and then she said oh merick moved you down from my top im like wow you think im that stupid you can say that about elvis but the same excuse for Merick to. OK im so aware its just a myspace top but the fact is she lied to me and broke our promise and she doesnt get the point she thinks its over the top but it elevated into breaking her promise that meant alot to me and betraying me and lying to me. I talked to my cousin lena who is really close to jodie to. Jodie is the best person out there and she has a good heart but she just lies alot and comes off as fake i feel bad cause im kinda talking shit about her but whatever i call it as i see it. It just pisses me off i put myself in her shoes because we use to go out and ok ok i flirted with her because we're good friends we have that bond so kissing her at winterball and mk's party i admit that was wrong of me because she got the wrong impression and thought i wanted to get back with her but not once did she ever confront me or tell me about how she felt so i kept acting the way i did because thats who i am. And then in the end all she says is that we need a break and thats bullshit she knows it because we were super close friends and some point we didnt talk because i was busy and its like wow wtf isnt that a break already =_= i went to your fucking winterball to spend time with you. whatever Blocked and deleted is the best way to handle the situation after you confronted it. She needs to put herself in my shoes how would she feel if all the sudden i replace her on my top.
ok im immature for tripping over a top but thats how it started and it elevated into lying and it pissed me off.


It makes me think
i started to think that everyone deserves a chance to be trusted until given a reason not to, but now im thinking No one deserves to be trusted until they give me a reason not to. Thats the way i think now, it just sucks the person you loved so much the person you trusted so much ugh kasjfaffkjfs ok having a guy screw me over no problem im still alive and same way with your best friend ill still survive dont get me wrong it just sucks we had that bond, but whatever shes taking something good for granted i was always there for her even after as a boyfriend lets see what happens with merick like every other person who chose their relationships over me she'll come back and i wont be there.

Focusing on school and trying to better myself following everyone's advice and im pretty happy with my life minus the whole jodie thing no boys to stress or worry about i finally feel like i found the balance in my life, but at times i just get random emotions im still angry at jordan i didnt get the closure but he's an ass hole for sure and he wasted my time. i wish i could talk to josh and i did but what good did that do so i give up you can be friends with everyone :\ thats my fault i pushed away someone who cared for me so much, i was afraid of just opening up to him again and then BAM, but i guess i did push him to far.
With William ugh so irratated i tried talking to him and he texts me saying oh sorry my friend just died, and then me and david were talking i mentioned what happen with william and he was like no wtf william said his friend moved, and idk william i trusted him to and right there he either lied to me and david, but the thing is he keeps having people he has in his life die so i dont know weither to belive him or not, but he is also dishonest, always wining about his love life or bitching to me about his friend ynez i see why we dont talk anymore because im just annoyed.

I really dont want anyone close to me anymore im just done i seriously have no close friends just like kalin said we have no friends just acquaintances, and who we call friends theres no point we all use and screw each other over in the end, and thats what we are, we're just tools to each other to vent to each other to talk to one another by giving us something to do.


My mom's bf well my dad now
taught my something new, in life im taking it into consideration
We as an individual have wants and we have needs we just need to figure what goes where and having people in my life is basically a want. I feel so alone now :\ its a feeling ill get use to people say they're there for me but i wish they were just a hug away

Back to school back to homework back to me
Because thats what i need
Me <3


but ...
ugh i feel like an idiot
im fucking 15 i have my whole life ahead of me
:\ i miss LC so much it tears me apart and eats me away each i happen to stumble upon his sn or dl i just have a instant flashback of a random memory positive or even negative. And its jsut weird now he met alex and now he met louis and everyone else its just ... :\
i had my closure i should be done, but i still feel lost and jumbled because maybe my naive self fell so hard and fall out so 100x harder
mm..

Hell09

haha yea lets be corny and shit 08 IS OVER WHOOHOOO
FUCK YEA
09 is here im kinda glad
that day louis picked me up and we met up with cameron and i met their friend kenny and then we went to union landing to eat at iin and out well kenny ate and then we visited the walmart just for kenny haha, picked up ryan at union bart and drove to fremont and played Brawl at Cameron's and then headed off to Fruitsvale bart :) went to Ryan;s bf i Enrique o-o omg i hoped i spelled it right but cameron and kenny got off at powell to meet up with there friends we all met up at enrique's place eventually :) and then kenny's friend tina met up with us we all took some shots of tequila and started dancing idk im usually a heavy weight but i was so emotionally at that point i let the alcohol affect me letting me become a light weight, we were going to meet up with Simon Paul, and jordan later and jordan i wasnt so thrilled about i knew he had alot of drama in his life but he brings it upon himself, i found out about his past and his present and his socal boy andrew jose, oh well i dont need to be screwed over again, ahahaha i ended up hella tipsy but not drunk and my new years kiss went to paul, but so much shit is with him to Him and An Ha and An ha and kevin oh well like this whole break i was suppose to be on a break but who gives a shit i know i dont its break im ready to have fun im glad daven and i broke up like i miss him and all but SHIT I HAD SO MUCH FUN hahaha :)

:\ its sad its ending
Thank you
Louis Pandong
Cameron Koichi Joe
Ryan Maldanado
Paul Woo
Tina Ym
Kenny Lim
Enrique

For the best night of my life, people who i just met i feel so close to like you guys are my family no lie, but when you guys talked about the past i have to admit i felt left out but its ok im use to it i started off quiet meeting you guys and hopefully we stay in touch and make new memories :)

FLY HOME SAFELY CAMERON <3
gosh its so embarassing but i had a mini crush on him! but if i look at it i dont stand a chance so really he's a Older brother to me they all are, haha sucks being the youngest but i realized alot, im to young i have my whole life ahead of me i dont need drugsor alcohol and screw downelink focus on the more important things in life and not

AND DO NOT become part of the scene and i repulse myself because im so young like one of the youngest NOT THE YOUNGEST but to young and im not even in the scene yet im so far in it for my age, so i need to stop JUST STOP :) and im glad i have people like them in my life that helped me realize that becaues if i kept going i would have had a reputation and everything and we wouldnt want that wouldnt we haha.

Ryan: The Flatt one

I met other cool like Branden Nozaki :) he told me the same liike everyone else its just idk heart warming starting the new year like this, Cameron was saying if i ever needed advice just give him a call and idk :) like it made me smile like they're people on DL who are genuwinely nice. I just met these people i feel so close to them more close than i do to others and hopefully they feel the same way :)
Dude haha i feel like an idiot for crying like new years eve i was crying cause jordan wong pissed me off but i was so over whelmed haha cause they kept asking me if i was okay and i just like ajnfajsfa its made me so happy for once in my life people cared and i didnt push them away in the end :)

As for myself i just need to be true to myself and focus on the main things like school and family, well i told my aunt jenny and jocelyn my uncle mike and thai i was gay that turned out okay i guess im just afraid to tell my mom but its all good i will eventually. I really do need to work on my body language im playful and what not but people take it the wrong way so when i really dig someone im going to flirt with them the same way i flirt with everybody else and im just going to be portrayed as some whore who gets around thanks louis hahaha :)


Thank you everybody seriously whoever hurt me made me happy you made a big impact on my 08 life im still changing and growing
im a master piece in the works

:)

All Wilcox Friends!
Shelton Jorden
AaronJosh Bondoc
Daniel Nguyen
David Vasser
Karen Huynh
William Cao
Kalin Estep
Ryan Maldonado
Breanna Hasse
Louis Pandong
Ella Greely
Kenny Lim
Aryn Martin
Cameron Koici Joe
Britnny Abad
Enrique
Tina Ym
Branden Nozaki
Kevin Nguyen
Daven Lagmen
Luke Lubag
Lance Cuevas
Alex Luong
Tong
Nestor
Eddie
idk i think the most important one Lawrence Andrew Cruz :\
miss him sometimes but its in the past now
WILCOX COLORGUARD WINTERGUARD WILCOX MARCHING BAND :)
More people but i cant remember

Anyways past in the past 09 new heart throbs and definetly no heart breaks cause im a smart kid now even thou im still learning