:( it'll be easier to let go once i say goodbye
i'll always be NaNa's
i love you, maybe to much
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Halo
I found a way to let you in but i never really had a doubt,
I'm excited i get to see a close friend on sunday before he leaves to the filpines, you know i never really felt the feeling of losing someone, my friend's who lost family members i mourn with them not feeling what they've felt it, and when sometimes when it comes to my friends crying over losing their friends i just chuckle at them. Jokes on me now right? I'm finally losing someone really dear to me in my life, yea i guess 8th grade when my friends either went to SC high and Wilcox high, but this is something way different. Aaron laeving to me is the feeling one would get when they lose their family in a tragic drunk driving incident. I didn't cry when i lost my great grandma, i didnt cry when i lost alot of my friends to the high school scene, and i didnt even cry when i found out the truth of my father. Yet i cry when i think of him leaving.
I know what it feels like to lose someone, now when i see a friend cry over thier dad who died, i can cry with them,
Ha i've been told it's not goodbye it's just a "see you later"
4 years :\, For my 16th birthday all i want him to do is to stay a few extra day's so we can hang, i was hoping he wouldnt leave until like july. You see those people at the airport screaming crying, bawling over their family, haha you can see where i'm going with this.Ii would travel into the departure gate running like my life depended on it, knowning that if i didnt get it off my chest i wouldnt be happy the 4 years you were gone, i would run to you just to say.. i love you
Other than that, Life has been unmotivating, i have no motivation to do anything eat, sleep do homework, ok maybe socialize a little, but i get this weird feeling, the feeling where you wake up from sleeping, i wake up finding myself with the same music on Replay, and myself unhappy ready to have an anxiety attack, because i'm trying to find something fun to do
=_=
Saturday-santa cruz? homework?
Sunday- baby shower with aaron?
I'm excited i get to see a close friend on sunday before he leaves to the filpines, you know i never really felt the feeling of losing someone, my friend's who lost family members i mourn with them not feeling what they've felt it, and when sometimes when it comes to my friends crying over losing their friends i just chuckle at them. Jokes on me now right? I'm finally losing someone really dear to me in my life, yea i guess 8th grade when my friends either went to SC high and Wilcox high, but this is something way different. Aaron laeving to me is the feeling one would get when they lose their family in a tragic drunk driving incident. I didn't cry when i lost my great grandma, i didnt cry when i lost alot of my friends to the high school scene, and i didnt even cry when i found out the truth of my father. Yet i cry when i think of him leaving.
I know what it feels like to lose someone, now when i see a friend cry over thier dad who died, i can cry with them,
Ha i've been told it's not goodbye it's just a "see you later"
4 years :\, For my 16th birthday all i want him to do is to stay a few extra day's so we can hang, i was hoping he wouldnt leave until like july. You see those people at the airport screaming crying, bawling over their family, haha you can see where i'm going with this.Ii would travel into the departure gate running like my life depended on it, knowning that if i didnt get it off my chest i wouldnt be happy the 4 years you were gone, i would run to you just to say.. i love you
Other than that, Life has been unmotivating, i have no motivation to do anything eat, sleep do homework, ok maybe socialize a little, but i get this weird feeling, the feeling where you wake up from sleeping, i wake up finding myself with the same music on Replay, and myself unhappy ready to have an anxiety attack, because i'm trying to find something fun to do
=_=
Saturday-santa cruz? homework?
Sunday- baby shower with aaron?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
If i were his
So Spring break started
Saturday i stayed home all day and then emmily and clarice came over and we planned what to do on sunday, we planned a movie day, emmily and i wanted to go to church for kicks cause it was easter, and clarice wanted a picnic, so i suggested a picnic in the church, haha
sunday i woke up and we ended up planning to go to Great America, we left and ate at ihop at 1pm, we ate to much =_= so you know how bad the combination is Alot of Food + Great America. i Lost my bottom retainer which hella sucks but im getting a new one of thursday. After a few rides all 4 of us were sick so we ended up buying candy. We saw my friend lester working at GA, i was like I LOVE YOU LESTER MARRY ME. The end of of day we went to watch people karoke, there was this indian girl who was dressed up like raven symone's little "sister" on thats so raven, after that we had this mexican kid stand there the whole time all he had to do was sing, AYE I CAPTAIN for sponge bob. there was a really good filipino old woman who sang girls just want to have fun, i hella loved her. The worst part was the this old lady who sang its my birthday and ill cry if i want to, she didnt even sing her voice was so offbeat, her boobs were more on beat then her. Wear a bra lady
So we went home all sick, well after we ate at house of Genji i think all 4 of us laughed so hard we had to leave, fucking linh "im McNanny the Tranny"
Monday Michael came over hahaha it was fun watched the strangers and two other movies we didnt care about i useed his phone to call a whole bunch of random people
FUCKING JONATHAN A DIDNT PICK HIS PHONE UP I HATE YOU :( but yea kevin was funny HEY DADDY I LOVE YOU after that my mom came home and yelled at me and lectured michael about not hanging out with louis hahaha, we had some thai ice tea from bar code played mario kart and pokemon and he left
Tuesday Today, went to work at my mom's company and i got to use the internet.
i'm really pissed off cause nick im's me telling me how aaron and i told jhomel something for him to get pissed at will.
ok seriously i'm grounded and when i havve internet it's precious so you would think i would spend my time on something more important then tell jhomel about how full oh shit william is. I saw them at Vfair and jhomel had added me on dl, and all i did was ask him if he was with will. I left it at that, even thou i dont get along with william im not going to drag it on and be like OH WILLIAM THIS WILLIAM THAT seriously i hella dropped it, and it pisses me off that another individual, like moi saw through william's crap, and then he goes off and points the finger at me and aaron josh! like wtf? seriously, so pathetic that someone sees through his bullshit and he's gonna go off and try to play it off and point the finger. And the worst part is Nick goes off and tries to defend Will, and honestly he says "oh everyone has to be happy before me and what not" seriously just admit you like will still, thats another topic ill blog about some other day how people try to defend their relationship even when they know their wrong, if michael's wrong im not going to take his side, thats the straight up truth, but karen and luhan, and from what i heard ella and Jt and other people in general are just so naive =_= anyways, Nick goes off and calls me and aaron bitches and liars.
Ok aaron and i are mothafuckin proud bitches so i take it as a compliment, we cant be liars,the reason why we may be bitches is because we're honest and speak the truth and call it as it is, we'll call you a slut and be straight up. so Liars and bitches cant be used in the same sentence when it comes to us.
Aaron told me jhomel is seeing the truth so ill leave it as it is.
Sigh, whenever i talk to him he flatteres me to much, makes me smile and sometimes even blush, i just want to fucking punch him cause im bored and call him a short slut ahha. it would honestly be the best birthday gift if he just stayed for one more year and not go to the philipinnes. i've only known him for maybe half a year? shorter? longer? but it feels like 10 years idk. When i talk to him, in my head the word i can only think of is What if. What if i faught for him, what if what if.
ugh you make me feel like its my first time falling in love
I have a boyfriend, i am happy, so happy! it's this feeling i cant get rid of
sigh well ill see you in 4years T_T
Your a whore =_=
Saturday i stayed home all day and then emmily and clarice came over and we planned what to do on sunday, we planned a movie day, emmily and i wanted to go to church for kicks cause it was easter, and clarice wanted a picnic, so i suggested a picnic in the church, haha
sunday i woke up and we ended up planning to go to Great America, we left and ate at ihop at 1pm, we ate to much =_= so you know how bad the combination is Alot of Food + Great America. i Lost my bottom retainer which hella sucks but im getting a new one of thursday. After a few rides all 4 of us were sick so we ended up buying candy. We saw my friend lester working at GA, i was like I LOVE YOU LESTER MARRY ME. The end of of day we went to watch people karoke, there was this indian girl who was dressed up like raven symone's little "sister" on thats so raven, after that we had this mexican kid stand there the whole time all he had to do was sing, AYE I CAPTAIN for sponge bob. there was a really good filipino old woman who sang girls just want to have fun, i hella loved her. The worst part was the this old lady who sang its my birthday and ill cry if i want to, she didnt even sing her voice was so offbeat, her boobs were more on beat then her. Wear a bra lady
So we went home all sick, well after we ate at house of Genji i think all 4 of us laughed so hard we had to leave, fucking linh "im McNanny the Tranny"
Monday Michael came over hahaha it was fun watched the strangers and two other movies we didnt care about i useed his phone to call a whole bunch of random people
FUCKING JONATHAN A DIDNT PICK HIS PHONE UP I HATE YOU :( but yea kevin was funny HEY DADDY I LOVE YOU after that my mom came home and yelled at me and lectured michael about not hanging out with louis hahaha, we had some thai ice tea from bar code played mario kart and pokemon and he left
Tuesday Today, went to work at my mom's company and i got to use the internet.
i'm really pissed off cause nick im's me telling me how aaron and i told jhomel something for him to get pissed at will.
ok seriously i'm grounded and when i havve internet it's precious so you would think i would spend my time on something more important then tell jhomel about how full oh shit william is. I saw them at Vfair and jhomel had added me on dl, and all i did was ask him if he was with will. I left it at that, even thou i dont get along with william im not going to drag it on and be like OH WILLIAM THIS WILLIAM THAT seriously i hella dropped it, and it pisses me off that another individual, like moi saw through william's crap, and then he goes off and points the finger at me and aaron josh! like wtf? seriously, so pathetic that someone sees through his bullshit and he's gonna go off and try to play it off and point the finger. And the worst part is Nick goes off and tries to defend Will, and honestly he says "oh everyone has to be happy before me and what not" seriously just admit you like will still, thats another topic ill blog about some other day how people try to defend their relationship even when they know their wrong, if michael's wrong im not going to take his side, thats the straight up truth, but karen and luhan, and from what i heard ella and Jt and other people in general are just so naive =_= anyways, Nick goes off and calls me and aaron bitches and liars.
Ok aaron and i are mothafuckin proud bitches so i take it as a compliment, we cant be liars,the reason why we may be bitches is because we're honest and speak the truth and call it as it is, we'll call you a slut and be straight up. so Liars and bitches cant be used in the same sentence when it comes to us.
Aaron told me jhomel is seeing the truth so ill leave it as it is.
Sigh, whenever i talk to him he flatteres me to much, makes me smile and sometimes even blush, i just want to fucking punch him cause im bored and call him a short slut ahha. it would honestly be the best birthday gift if he just stayed for one more year and not go to the philipinnes. i've only known him for maybe half a year? shorter? longer? but it feels like 10 years idk. When i talk to him, in my head the word i can only think of is What if. What if i faught for him, what if what if.
ugh you make me feel like its my first time falling in love
I have a boyfriend, i am happy, so happy! it's this feeling i cant get rid of
sigh well ill see you in 4years T_T
Your a whore =_=
Friday, April 10, 2009
Ever
Every 15 minutes someone dies from a drunk driving accident,
Hmm is it just me? or have you ever acted ignorant on purpose to try to cover up what hurts you?
Hmm is it just me? or have you ever acted ignorant on purpose to try to cover up what hurts you?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Speak
i think i need to lay off the videos games and rest my mind and read a boook
i'm ready to snap =_= ugh
i'm ready to snap =_= ugh
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Frustration
As the days pass by, my frustration grows and grows i dont know whats causing this frustration, maybe i have nothing better to do, or maybe its the fact that i miss a certain someone in my life, but i'm pretty sure its the fact that i miss certain people like louis, it just sucks my mom doesnt want me to hang out with gay people in general she blames my orientation for the people i hang out with and calls them bad influences at one point she even blamed karen, she use to love karen!, up until the point i mentioned karen was bi sexual.
Anyways next year i dont know for my classes i ended up applying for
Ap english and Ap bio
i want to do Ap Us Psychics enviromental science and french 3
but i think thats way to much so i think i might pass on psychics
anyways...
Went to trojan olympics last friday
their dances are hella good saw david michael and aaron and other familiar faces. Then that sunday i went to Vfair with julie to buy sadies outfit in the end we decided to be Ninja Turtles haha :D i cant wait but while at the mall it kinda ruined my mood not when i saw jhomel but haha julie was like, 'oh he's cute" but i saw william with him at one point i was like oh ew? i wanted to say hi but i continued to go on my shopping trip cause it would be my last in awhile
I snuck on the computer on thuesday March 31st
and i talked to aaron about prom plans he said he was going to have multiple dates so my jaw dropped a little bit because i wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves the country, you know what they say you never get over your first love eh part of me still has that feeling but its whatever it's his prom let him enjoy it, im still uneasy thou he said "it's cause..." and then responded with a "nothing" "brb" i was like hm...
This week multi cultural im doing nobody by wondergirls and 10 out of 10 by 2am or 2pm or something
Mmmm pokemon is taking up my time haha
i dont know somethings missing....i just dont know what
Anyways next year i dont know for my classes i ended up applying for
Ap english and Ap bio
i want to do Ap Us Psychics enviromental science and french 3
but i think thats way to much so i think i might pass on psychics
anyways...
Went to trojan olympics last friday
their dances are hella good saw david michael and aaron and other familiar faces. Then that sunday i went to Vfair with julie to buy sadies outfit in the end we decided to be Ninja Turtles haha :D i cant wait but while at the mall it kinda ruined my mood not when i saw jhomel but haha julie was like, 'oh he's cute" but i saw william with him at one point i was like oh ew? i wanted to say hi but i continued to go on my shopping trip cause it would be my last in awhile
I snuck on the computer on thuesday March 31st
and i talked to aaron about prom plans he said he was going to have multiple dates so my jaw dropped a little bit because i wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves the country, you know what they say you never get over your first love eh part of me still has that feeling but its whatever it's his prom let him enjoy it, im still uneasy thou he said "it's cause..." and then responded with a "nothing" "brb" i was like hm...
This week multi cultural im doing nobody by wondergirls and 10 out of 10 by 2am or 2pm or something
Mmmm pokemon is taking up my time haha
i dont know somethings missing....i just dont know what
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