The World keeps getting in the way

:\ something is missing
i finally realized im missing myself

2009, The Search for Jonathan Pham

Ugh

fuck

:\
FUCK
FUCK
more shit keeps happening

no more blogging til new years

Ugh

Just got back hanging out with louis
and Aaron im's me and its like he wants to give up
am i really suppose to be like OMG NO DONT GIVE UP HANG
IN THERE YOU CAN DO IT, im more like do what you want as
long as you're happy and you dont regret i support you
but dang... i never came off as unapproachable :\ like i do
admit i push people away i shouldnt cause its like im avoiding
the problem and its going to come bite me back in the ass idk

So i guess i pushed him to far and i wont ever have him back as
a friend :\

blah idk anymore

Winter

Winterball was crazy
thats all im going to say
haha better than homecoming

my ears hurt
yes i got them pierced
:)


what can i say
lately ive been really happy for no reason
like deep down i know theres something wrong
but its making me happy, im just thinking now
well nvm..its complicated
haha :D

Restart, Reboot

Haha hooray im going to blog again
so lets see
where can i start i hate it when i stop blogging can usually so much but not much happens haha but lets see, from when i got my braces off :), Well christmas break is starting and my mother her bf and auntie and her bf are going to be in vietnam singapore and all the asian places and i hella miss them im worried to sick cause my mom is pregnant im like all dfaskgfnakjfna and shit so keep my fingers cross and hope they come back safe.

I was suppose to go to my friend shariyar's party on saturday but i didnt go because My cousin lena needed me to go to her winterball last minute i hella went =_= cause im a nice ass cousin and jodie was going to be my date. We ended up matching with dark purple haha :). I took the bus that friday to Indie High and i had to run there cause lena's mom was waiting and other stuff haha i spent the night on friday and saturday. That saturday i had to get a purple tie so i called everyone on my phone for dear life trying to get a damn tie so i ended up chlling with ryan for a while he drove me to the mall and then i hung out with Daven :) after we chilled i went back with ryan bought a tie and then headed home and got ready for winterball. The dance was ok no one was really there i kinda got frustrated cause jodie couldnt dance and she got tired so idk we sat down most of the time i was like blah i didnt even want to talk because i was so frustrated. Not to be rude but hey people im gay now :\ like idk i just dont feel that way towards women. chilled more with lena that night and after i was dead tired "SHOOT ME" hahahhahaha went home the next day got a ride with uncle thai and aunt jocelyn and got home sunday and did homework.


Tuesday ugh...it was cold and i was like unstable i needed a ride to get my secret santa gift so i ended up hanging out with Lawrence, met his friends Zin Lisa and Angelo pretty cool day but i tried so hard not to like let everything out like at points i started shaking. his touch made me want to curl up in a ball and just die
but i got through the day went to valleyfair and than santanna row and then went to cupertino village. After that to lisa's house and then back home

These past few days
really chill laid back
i feel bitter and mean but its just the weather
well blog later

Wow

i havnt blogged in forever
ill start re blogging once break starts

:\

Nothing

Nothing is falling into place
but i think im satisfied at where i am
but not where im going

Braces

are off i feel weird
not the braces but everything else